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Nov. 21st, 2008 | 05:39 pm
mood: angry
music: stronger; kanye west

(used with object)
to thrust oneself without permission or welcome: to intrude upon their privacy.

i thought i could live a normal life, and do things for myself.
i met many a few willing to help except they lead me astray.
i never thought wrongly of said few but they have lead me to the point where have intruded on my privacy.
they helped me along but more than one should.
i have moments where i don't want to be around this person but then they come out of no where and my loyalty is there.
they abuse this and i feel very very empty. i want to tell this person that they have hurt me.
that they have stepped on my parade. however i am left to say that i don't want to be this person's friend.
i take back all the things i've said, this includes having their backs,
helping them in a tough situtation because i don't want them making my life out of touch. i couldn't sleep because of the bullshit i was fed, i was always anxious and i want to longer include this person amongst my net.
helping me or not you cannot think you are doing me a favor by stepping on my toes and speaking for me.
that makes me feel stupid and then i over think things.
so thank you and stay the hell out of my attemps to make myself happy.
i tried to warn you but you don't listen so now you stay away from me.


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Jul. 8th, 2008 | 12:17 pm

a person who tells lies.

That is what this one person is. Kind, honest when he wants to,  but still the biggest liar on this planet.
Sure there are those who are far worse than he is but still. Straight to my face, to his entire family's face.
I came from the hall way after tending to my room only to hear him on the phone straight out and asks his friend if
he could borrow 2 smokes. HOW CAN ANYONE NOT HEAR THAT. I had to double take on his words.
I asked in my sisterly tone "Did you just ask for two smokes?" I was already aware of his answer I was foolishly hoping he would say yes. But to no avail he said "no". I tried to argue back but he cut me off  "I hate eavesdroppers, I asked for 2 stokes not smokes."  hypocrite right there in his words.
I knew he was lying through his teeth like he always does. I was saddened when he left. What is he becoming. We thought this scare was over we thought he was done with destroying his youth. But he's not. He comes home smelling of cannabis, his eyes are bloodshot when he wakes up. He eats like mad. Not normal at all. Just last week it was the scare with him drinking. I drink, but he had beer I'm sure a heavy lager at that. My dearest brother what are you becoming? Next thing we know he's had sex, has a kid, gone to jail, or worse he's late. And I'll never see my brother again. Lied through his teeth, he'd trade his sisters and mother for a fix I'm sure.  He's out everyday never sober anymore. He does it in pieces and it's breaking our family's trust and loyalty away from him.
I don't think he understands what we're trying to save him from. 14 years old and already your family can't trust you.
What happened if I was sliced open that day. I would be gone, would that have changed your mind? Would you stop letting your allies influence you over the the loss of blood. I'm not always going to protect you. Soon my trust for you will be gone. What then?
I'm still to loyal, it's in my sisterly blood.
Know this when you're all alone know I'll be there, your older sister holding your hand.
But once you break through my protectiveness for you. You'll be in the dark.
I won't save you, I won't defend you.
Because you lied to me. And I wouldn't believe every word that left your mouth.
You stupid, horrible, ridiculous piece of human. and most of all you MONSTER.
Liar, liar, pants on fire...the telephone wire is just the beginning.
I hope you're safe I've got your back.
But I don't know if you've got mine.
You say you do but are you lying about that too?
Love your big sister

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Jun. 8th, 2008 | 04:42 pm
mood: outspoken

Seriously when someone tells you to stop please be kind a do so.
I can't even begin to stress this fact, I mean sure everyone makes mistakes but still.
This person just didn't get it, so yes this is directed at a person.
I don't think I act rude; as in to a point where it's starts to seriously hurt someone's feelings. 
I know better, and I stop once I'm told to. Isn't that how everyone should act big ego or no ego?
But this person didn't seem to stop even after I've voiced it so many times and yet you still keep going and it hurts me still. I don't care who you hang out with don't put my race into this. Just because I'm a certain colour doesn't even begin to relate to my personality! So what if I don't act the way I'm sterotyped to do. 
Do you not get me? Of course not because what I had to deal with was how, you choose to view me. 
The way you view those other people you think you know sterotyped personality or even thier speech!
I think I speak good clear english, sure I can slip in and out of Jamaican Patwa.
I mean it was as if you didn't even bother to stop, think,  and listen to me telling you to stop it seemed.
 I said it so many times I should've just walked away but I didn't.  Because I respect you for you when you're not judging me.  
And yet with all this said, it still stings but know this: I'm still your friend I'll still be there no matter what I just want you to stop with this shit. I'm am who I am if you don't like it tell me and I'll leave you be.
Thank you to those who were with me and understood where I was coming from.
This issue should be settled soon.
Thanks for reading.

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Oct. 18th, 2007 | 09:45 pm

This is a new journal, cause my old one had a crappy username and such but most of my entries are on there. This is a fresh new one which I'll use more often I hope! <3

[Unknown LJ tag]

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